Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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