I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize