He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
