I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
