just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
