Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
