Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
