Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
