Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
