I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
