But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
