What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
