So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
