Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
