Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
