The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's the barista slut.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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