from now on my penis is your penis
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
