Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
