Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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