i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like God shit irony all over that family
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
