How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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