So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
