I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
