She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
