Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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