In the future we'll all be gay
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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