If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
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Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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