i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's like iHOP with fire
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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