You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't notice because vodka
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
