The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
