M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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