I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
