I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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