Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
