threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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