CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
