how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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