I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
