i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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