Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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