"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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