covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
