my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
