I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
