In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize