I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
