its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you had me at cake vodka
I have already put on my inside pants.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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