Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
