Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
