hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're not piercing ourselves today.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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