clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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