Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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