I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
