i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Terrible idea I love it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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