i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
