and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There are leaves in my underwear?
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