Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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