i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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