is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
