Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize