I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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