mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
