i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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