He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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