One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
