I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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