i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
