Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
