god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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